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ESEM: The Race for CyberspacePaper 3 Peer Editing Worksheet delinquent: Tuesday, 10/20 Author: _Alexandra Ganapes___Editor: Paisley Singh_____ Please type direct on this document and print it out for your classmate. Be expatiate in your comments by referring to specific points, sentences, and word choices. Be a unstinting reader: avoid yes/no responses and one-sentence assessments. 1. Restate the dissertation of the paper. What is the dividing line? Is the dissertation insightful and engaging, or too all-encompassing and self-explanatory? The thesis of the paper is “The blog allows the individual to move up a safe, anonymous space to fully express herself and unrecorded necessary and supportive feedback which could not be found anyplace else.” Her argument was basically that the online realistic community called Livejournal wholly forgets a space where an person with an interest in any command can find other people in the realistic world to relate to. Her thesis was engaging, moreover I have in mind it had some assumption in it. The part where she says “supportive feedback which could not be found anywhere else” is presumptuous, it is a personal opinion. 2. Does she take into account analysis of the Web land situate, or does she simply describe it without interpreting it?

How in effect does she integrate quotations from articles and translations of the online community into her argument? She effectively describes what Livejournal is and she effectively integrates certain(p) quotes from the website such as the description of the site by the site in addition to authors such as Rheingold and writers on the site such as “xxallovermex”.! However I face that there could be a lot more analysis, quite of description and seemingly personal opinion. She gives many examples in the Livejournal but I think she should just stick to one or ii examples and have more indepth analysis. 3. Identify the organization of the paper. Does individually carve up develop the thesis or merely recur the thesis?...If you want to get a full essay, drift it on our website: OrderEssay.net

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